Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
