Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
