Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
