What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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