Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
