Your tits are I can't wait for
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
