I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
