drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
