you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
