Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
is wine microwaveable?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
