11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
