After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
we're so committed to being not committed
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
