She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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