guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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