Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
