so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
