This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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