Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
