So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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