I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
