what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
