That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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