The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
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