What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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