it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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