dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
