Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
