In the future we'll all be gay
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
