The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
