I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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