I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
should my penis look like a turkey
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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