i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
