Cold hands, warm shart.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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