Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
