there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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