gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
