Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
