'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
