tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize
