Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
