Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
