This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
