I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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