So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
my being single is dangerous.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
