Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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