That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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