How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
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