You can't special order awesome
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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