well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
