Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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