Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
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