i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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