69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
