Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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