I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
