and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
